


Where the Sun Goes at Night

by NanakiBH



Category: Final Fantasy Type-0
Genre: Anal Sex, Awkward Flirting, Divergent Timelines, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, Immortality, Introspection, Kissing, M/M, Melancholy, Romance, Secret Identity, Slice of Life, Soulmates, Touch-Starved, Underage Drinking, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:54:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25227880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanakiBH/pseuds/NanakiBH
Summary: He remembered that day. He'd been there before. Everything was the same. Until it wasn't.
Relationships: Jack/Lean Joker (Final Fantasy Type-0)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Where the Sun Goes at Night

**Author's Note:**

> I just really want Joker to be where he belongs... Bless his little hardworking soul. He deserves so much more. u_u

A life outside the Spiral was a life unlike any normal, mortal life. Minutes felt like hours. Hours felt like days. Days felt like years. And the years kept going, even after the end of the world. The hourglass for every mortal would eventually run out, but one's perception of time became meaningless without such a restriction.

Lean had never thought of immortality as a blessing – not even on the day when he first joined Mother's side outside the flow of time. He wouldn't have wanted to return to the way that things had been, unaware of the greater workings of their world, but he didn't exactly feel grateful for the privileged of that knowledge, either. It was a very lonely task he was given, instructed to watch but to never interfere. He was only allowed to help so long as he didn't become entangled with their subjects.

He didn't like thinking of Class Zero as an experiment.

It didn't feel right.

He and Mother were both scientists, but when it came to her 'experiment', they were not on the same page. He was willing to help, but only because it seemed like there was no other choice. Having lived for so long, Lean was sure that he'd thought of every possibility and explored every option. Mother, also. She was something of a god, so if there were a proper solution to be found, he was sure that she would have thought of it.

Just, it was difficult.

At least once, Lean wished that he could tell them what was going on, to illuminate the dark path before them. Mother probably wouldn't have liked that, though, and it probably wouldn't have led to the results she was hoping for, anyway... Tempus Finis would always come, so it wasn't like he could help them run away from it all. The end would find them.

All he could do was guide them, hoping to lead them toward transformation.

What would happen if they succeeded? He always wondered what would happen to them, and what Mother would do... Better her than the Rursus, he supposed.

The thought of seeing Class Zero ascend as Agito _was_ a little exciting, he couldn't lie.

But he liked them as they were. They already seemed as perfect as humans could ever aspire to be. What more did they have to do? It felt unrealistic to expect them to achieve even more.

Another day was passing and Class Zero still hadn't become the world's savior.

Lean had lost his sense of impatience. Although it was bittersweet, being unable to do more for them, he enjoyed watching as they repeated the happy days of their youth. There were sad and painful moments, too, endlessly repeating within the Spiral, but there were many more average days. Even the boring ones were good. Their moments of comfort were his, too.

It just felt like they went by so quickly, and then the moments of pain seemed to linger...

That was just how it worked. It wasn't anything new or special. 'Time flies when you're having fun' and all that... The fact that they always started over from the beginning without remembering anything was a blessing, Lean thought. In some ways, it made things harder, but he was glad that they didn't need to keep carrying that pain with them like he did.

After millions of cycles, however, he and Tiz had noticed that some of them seemed to be retaining memories from the past. Mother would brush it off and reassure her children and they'd go back to business as usual without thinking twice about their déjà vu. Lean thought about speaking to her about that. It seemed like an evolution – a potential breakthrough in the experiment rather than an unwanted side effect. He wanted to explore it.

Cater's recollection of the past seemed to be the strongest, although still faint and vague at best. But there were others, too. He noticed Nine acting more confused than usual as his body led him to perform familiar actions as if on autopilot. Trey and Queen discussed amongst each other the fact that they seemed to recall the contents of books they thought they'd never read before. It was always little things, easy to ignore.

He looked forward to observing where their memories would lead them while a part of him secretly desired to encourage them to question it. It was a good thing Mother couldn't see into his heart, otherwise she would have taken exception to how badly he wished to meddle.

On another one of their ordinary days, Akademeia was hosting a mixer.

Lean had gone to it before. It was the type of thing that wouldn't have interested him at all when he was a normal human. He would have probably preferred to stay in his room and catch up on work. Socializing had never been his strong suit, but he'd grown fond of people-watching as long as the people were having fun. As long as he stayed in disguise, such events gave him an opportunity to interact with the students in a way that would have been too uncomfortable for him in his old life.

The legionary uniform was useful for someone like him. Its hood and mask made him indistinguishable from any other soldier. The uniform was such a common sight around Akademeia, he blended into the atmosphere inconspicuously. Amusingly, if he caught anyone's attention, it was only because they had mistaken him for some other soldier.

But...

Even after millions of years... Socializing still wasn't something he was especially good at.

Like, what was he even supposed to do? He enjoyed _being there_ , but he didn't know how he was supposed to initiate a conversation with anyone. And what would they even talk about? He couldn't talk about his 'job', so he would've had to make something up. But that wasn't interesting. That wasn't fun. It just made him feel like a liar. For once in forever, he just wanted to feel like a regular person who had a life he could share with another person.

So, the same as every cycle, he found himself wandering around the school, listening to familiar conversations, picking up on new things here and there. Knowing what people would say before they'd say it almost made them feel like characters in a play. It made him realize just how much was being decided by destiny. It was even the insignificant things.

After walking around the main hall and visiting the Crystarium, Lean took the grand portal to the lounge, hoping to continue his people-watching from the comfort of one of the couches.

They were all taken.

He grimaced at the couples who were hogging them for their PDA. Good for them, but he didn't want to see it. A mixer didn't give them a free pass to act indecently.

He stood in the corner of the lounge and felt disappointed in himself. It was a once-in-a-cycle chance for him to talk to Class Zero, and he was blowing it. He wanted to interact with them, but he couldn't bring himself to interrupt them when they seemed to be enjoying themselves. They didn't have many opportunities to do things with students from other classes, so it was just as much of a rare chance for them as it was for him.

Cinque was interested in everyone and everything. She seemed to show up wherever Lean looked. He'd found Trey attempting to talk to some girls in the Crystarium, but he kept losing their attention like usual. He hadn't seen Eight and Sice yet, but he remembered seeing them in the ready room on previous cycles. Machina and Rem were in the main hall, together like always.

There had to be an opening when he could talk to one of them without interrupting something...

As he was going over his options in his head, someone appeared in front of him.

“Hey there. You okay?”

Lean looked up, startled out of his thoughts.

Jack was there, looking at him with a concerned yet somewhat amused face.

“Uh-... I'm fine,” Lean mumbled, hastily reaching up to make sure that his mask was still properly hiding his face. “W-why?”

“It looked like you were spacing out. I thought you might not've been feeling well or something.”

“Oh. No. I'm, uh... I'm fine. Just spacing out, like you said.”

This had happened before.

Not at the mixer, but once or twice on other occasions when Lean thought he was unrecognizable, Jack had called out to him. It had to be the third time, at least. Once or twice was a coincidence, but three times seemed like a pattern. Lean had no way to explain it, though. There was no way that Jack could have recognized or remembered him from previous cycles. So unless it was destiny...

“Hey, you know...” Jack leaned closer, tilting to the side as if he were trying to look under Lean's mask, even though it sat too close to his face for that to be possible. He was looking him over from head to toe in a way that made Lean sweat nervously. When he seemed satisfied with whatever he was looking for, he squared his shoulders and looked at him with something of a leer. “You're kinda cute, aren't you?”

“What? Y-yeah, right. As if...” Lean pulled down his hood a little and turned his head away.

He couldn't believe that Jack was hitting on him. He wanted to talk with one of them, but he hadn't expected things to turn out like _that._

Was it really that much of a surprise, though? Jack was typically a nice guy, but Lean had seen what a lecherous perv he could be in some cycles. They must've been in one of those cycles where Jack just couldn't help himself.

Nevertheless... He was still Jack. And Jack was always charming in that weird, obnoxious way of his.

And he called him cute...

“You wanna hang out with me?” Jack asked.

Lean's heart leapt to his throat. “Hang out?” He mentally slugged himself for letting his nerves show in his voice. He swallowed and took a breath, trying to calm himself down to keep himself from stammering and making even more of a fool of himself. “If you just wanna walk around or something, that's fine with me. I've only gone to the Crystarium so far. Not much to see there.”

Jack giggled. “Sweet! I've got myself a date~”

“H-huh? But you asked if I wanted to hang out. That's not-... That isn't the same as-... Well, I mean, if you _wanted_... I guess we could, uh...”

Wow.

Total knock-out.

Jack just laughed and patted him on the shoulder. “Whoa, chill out. I was just playing around~ Sorry if that made you uncomfortable, though. Are you not into guys?”

How was he able to casually be that straightforward? It made Lean a little embarrassed, but he was also impressed and jealous. Anyone else might've been offended by his question, but Lean could tell that he was pushing his luck for a reason.

He was seriously trying to hook up with him...

“That's not it. I was just surprised.” That was his chance to be a little honest, too. “I didn't expect a guy like you to be interested in me.”

“A guy like me?” Jack asked, sounding somewhat worried – genuinely, not in that pretend way of his.

“You're from Class Zero, right?” he said, pointing out Jack's red cape. “That makes you pretty special.”

Jack rubbed the back of his head. “Ohh... Yeah, I guess. But I think I'm more used to other classes being jealous and spiteful towards us. Something feels different about you...”

For a second, Lean panicked, afraid that Jack was on to him somehow, but he quickly calmed himself, reminding himself that there was zero reason for Jack to remember anything about him. Unless...

No. It was inconceivable. If Jack was retaining memories from past lives, there was no reason for him to specifically retain memories about someone as insignificant as him. ...Right?

He must've really screwed up somewhere...

“Well, I hate to disappoint you, but there's nothing special about me,” Lean said. “Figured I'd let you down now so you don't go getting your hopes up.”

It was too late. Or maybe everything he said was backfiring. His words of discouragement only seemed to endear him more to Jack who was beaming like an idiot. Lean could practically see Jack's hopes skyrocketing. ...It was actually really cute, but Lean was being serious. If he didn't let him down, he was afraid of Jack getting attached to him. If Jack had hopes of scoring himself a serious relationship, then that wasn't happening. It was just... impossible.

But, maybe just for one night...

He had agreed to hang out with him, after all.

“So...” Lean awkwardly rubbed his arms. “What does 'hang out' mean, exactly?”

“I heard there's a guy in the ready room who's got real alcohol. You wanna investigate?”

That was against school policy, if true. Not that Lean cared about school policy.

“Sure. Lead the way, detective.”

They took the portal to the ready room. Eight and Sice were there like Lean remembered from previous cycles. It would have been one thing if he went there alone, but having Jack with him suddenly made him feel like there was a spotlight on him. Fortunately for him, even though Jack was friendly towards everyone, neither of them were particularly friendly with Jack. If they noticed him, they ignored him. Eight was sitting at one of the tables on the left and Sice was talking animatedly with a couple of legionaries near the back.

Hands on his waist, Jack scoped the room for the guy with the rumored alcohol.

He stroked his chin. “I wonder who it is... I'm afraid to ask anybody. I don't wanna get narced on. I've already got eyes on me. Everybody thinks I'm some kind of delinquent.”

“Says the guy who's looking for alcohol...”

“Shhhh! You don't want to attract the wrong kind of attention, do you?”

Oh, he had _no idea_...

Lean stepped forward and went in front of him to get a better look at the people who were around. He couldn't wear his glasses under the mask, so it was a bit difficult for him to see a person's features unless they were standing directly in front of him. Fortunately, he didn't need perfect vision to look for suspicious activity.

“There.”

He nodded his head toward the right side of the room and subtly gestured at a guy from Class Ninth who was sitting at the shadowy corner table. There were a couple other guys who were sitting around him, guarding a school bag.

“The goods,” Jack said, quietly, like a robber about to pull off a heist. “How do we get some?”

“I'll go. If it's not the right guy, you won't have to worry about getting narced on. I think they'd be afraid to deal with someone from Class Zero, anyway. They won't be suspicious of a rando like me.”

Jack gave a low whistle. “Wow. I'm impressed. You're quite a tactician, huh?”

Lean was glad for the mask, sure that Jack's comment had left him blushing. “Yeah... It's kinda what I do.”

With that, he told Jack to wait by the refreshment counter and headed off to speak to the guy.

En route, he started questioning his choices, wondering why he was suddenly going out of his way for Jack when he'd never gotten so personally involved with Class Zero in the past. It was what he wanted, but he could already feel the situation spiraling out of his control. He just hoped that Mother wasn't watching. She couldn't have been, right...? It wasn't like she had eyes everywhere. Probably. As far as he knew, she just trusted them to tell her everything.

He was overthinking it. He was just nervous because he hadn't been around anyone besides Tiz for that long in a long time. Yeah.

It wasn't like he was going out of his way for Jack because he was getting his own hopes up or anything...

By the time he reached the shady corner table, he had to shut his brain off and act natural. The guys immediately knew what he was there for which made things a lot easier than he expected. Apparently there was some kind of under-the-table bartering system that was going on at the mixer. In all of the cycles he'd experienced, he'd somehow never caught wind of what was going on behind the scenes. Apparently students were using the chaotic atmosphere of the mixer to smuggle items which were prohibited by school policy; alcohol, drugs, pornography... gum.

He didn't have anything on him except for money, but they were fortunately willing to trade for some gil. They overcharged him, of course, but Lean didn't care. Money wasn't important to him. They handed him two cans of beer and made him hide it in his coat sleeves. It made him feel like an idiot, but... At least it was hidden.

Carefully making his way around the crowd of people around the center counter, he went to the back and found Jack.

“The goods have been secured.”

“Forreal?” Jack said, excited. “Hand it over!”

He was like an excitable puppy. Lean just shook his head at him, smiling to himself. “Don't get stupid now. We can't drink this here. I have it hidden up my sleeves. I guess it was nice of those guys to keep this stuff refrigerated, but it's freezing my arms. Let's get outta here.”

“Alright. Follow me~”

Lean had no idea where they were going, but he was excited to find out. It was nice to finally experience something new for a change. For a second, he thought about how excited he'd be to tell Tiz about his adventure, but he quickly reconsidered. She was always respectful of his business, but she was also very faithful about the information she reported to Mother. If he did something that left a significant impact, he wasn't sure that she could keep her lips sealed about it.

She was probably at the school somewhere... He just prayed that he wouldn't run into her while he was with Jack.

Like always, he got so lost in his own thoughts, he hadn't even been paying attention to where his feet were taking him. His eyes had been blindly following Jack's back to make sure that they stayed together, but he hadn't been paying attention to where they were going at all.

Before he knew it, they were standing outside of a room in the dormitory hallway.

“This is...?”

“My room. Is that okay?”

Lean's breath got caught in his throat.

Jack tilted his head against his shoulder, giving him a funny look. “You getting nervous again?”

“No, I-...!” Lean cut himself off. His shoulders slumped and he let out a sigh. He was past the point of denial; Jack had already figured him out. “Yeah. I am. I've never been invited to someone else's room before.”

“Really? Well, there's a first time for everyone.”

He didn't have to say it that way...

With no further ado, Jack unlocked his door and let him inside. As soon as he was in, Lean took the cans out of his sleeves and rubbed his freezing arms. His numb skin prickled unpleasantly as the feeling returned. After Jack closed the door, Lean turned to him and handed him one of the cans.

“Have you had beer before?” he asked.

Jack shook his head as he eagerly popped the tab. “Nope! I'm excited. I feel like such a rebel~”

“Heh. Well, there's a first time for everyone...”

“Hey, are you making fun of me?” Jack accused, pouting cutely.

“Not at all,” Lean said coolly as he cracked open his own can. He was no stranger to beer, but he couldn't say that he had any feelings about it – didn't love it, didn't hate it. He was more curious to see what kind of reaction Jack would have to it.

As he took a casual sip, he watched as Jack sat on his bed and took a large, bold sip of his own. He didn't react right away. Following his sip, he just sat there, making a face. Lean wasn't sure how he was supposed to interpret his reaction. Did he hate it...? He just looked confused. Jack stared at the can and gave it another sip, then sat there with the same look on his face.

“Is this... Does it suck or is it just me?” he asked, looking baffled by what his senses were experiencing.

“Nah, it sucks. There are better beers, so it's unfortunate that this one is your first impression.” He would've loved to show him what a good beer was like sometime, but he didn't know when 'sometime' was supposed to be...

With a disappointed pout, Jack abandoned the can on the small table next to his bed. “Oh well. I guess I won't be getting drunk...”

“I don't think one can would've been enough to make that happen... Why would you want to get drunk, anyway? It's not as fun as people make it sound, trust me. Do you just want to know what it's like or something?”

“Yeah, basically! There are a lot of things I wanna experience. Not to sound all grim and stuff, but you never know when your last day is gonna be around this place... Class Zero might stand a better chance than anybody else cuz we've got Mother on our side, but... I dunno. I just get this feeling. I guess I'm just not optimistic about the war for some reason...”

Lean had noticed that.

Jack was just good at hiding it. Normally, he put on a smile for everyone and acted super optimistic, but if anyone asked him to share his thoughts, his cynicism would start to show. It might've always been there, ever since he was young. Lean had witnessed his tragic childhood, and it always played out the same way. The horrific events that shaped his life had surely also begun to shape his soul, searing a sense of dread and foreboding into each new heart.

He wanted to comfort him somehow. But how...?

“Hey.” Jack looked up at him and patted the spot next to him on the bed. “You know, you can sit down. Make yourself at home.”

Jack had a nice room. It seemed like he wasn't sharing it with anyone. That had to be one of the privileges of being in Class Zero. Cadets from other classes had to deal with roommates.

He had a tall window with curtains. The curtains were drawn back, but Lean unfortunately couldn't appreciate what kind of view he had; it was getting darker outside, so it was hard to see anything outside besides the top of a tree close to the building. The rug on the floor was nice, but Lean recognized it as the kind which furnished all of the dorm rooms; familiar emblems of Akademeia were incorporated into its intricate design. There was a desk with a lamp in the corner. Books were neatly lined up along the edge against the wall. Knowing what kind of student Jack was, Lean felt it was safe to assume that those books were so neat because they were so rarely touched.

The table next to the bed had a lamp. Lean knew that it was impolite to snoop, but snooping was his business, so his eyes roamed curiously over every little item that Jack kept at his bedside.

Porno mag. Tissue box. Some kind of clear, unlabeled plastic bottle of...?

Ah. Right. Of course.

Lean suddenly started to wonder if it was safe for him to sit on Jack's bed. If he sat down, he got the feeling he wouldn't be able to leave very easily.

Jack looked over his shoulder toward the window. “It's getting kinda dark, isn't it?” He leaned over and turned on the lamp. Its light gave the room a warm, comfortable feeling that made Lean's pulse race. He could already picture himself counting the shadows on Jack's ceiling in the middle of the night.

What Mother didn't know wouldn't hurt her, right?

He lifted his can and took a liberal drink. He set it down on the table next to Jack's can and then sat on the bed.

Jack grinned, seeming to take that as a little victory or something.

“By the way, I never got your name...”

“It's-...” Not Lean Joker. He couldn't say that. If Jack heard that he had a name similar to his and his siblings', he would've figured out who he was for sure. “Lean. Hampelmann. Formerly of Milites.”

As soon as he finished speaking, he noticed a strange look on Jack's face. His eyebrows were drawn together and his lips were sealed in a tight line. It felt as though he was staring straight through him.

...Had he said too much? Did Jack remember him?

“Milites, huh...”

Lean couldn't tell if he was actually skeptical about his legitimacy as a resident of the Vermilion Bird peristylium or if he was using the facade of skepticism to conceal some other thought. For a person who seemed so simple on the outside, Jack was someone dangerously complex. He covered up his real thoughts so frequently, it was difficult to figure out what was a bluff and what was real. But thankfully, Jack didn't linger on it for too long. He just laughed to dispel the tension and let him off the hook.

“Well, I hope you like it better here.”

Lean nodded. “I do. I feel like my talents are more appreciated here.”

“Oh yeah-” Jack held out his hand. “I'm Jack. But I think you already knew that.”

Looking at the hand that was offered to him to shake, Lean wondered how many times they'd met each other for the first time. Jack's words echoed in his ears, sounding both familiar and suspicious.

He took his hand firmly. Even through his gloves, he felt the warmth of his skin.

Jack placed his other hand over his and gave it a light tug as he moved himself an inch closer.

“So about this not being a date...”

“Look,” Lean began with a sigh, “I know you were looking to hook up. I'm not gonna act clueless. I knew what you were after, and I went along with you. If you wanna have sex-”

Jack scoffed and rolled his eyes, pretending to be offended. “The least you could do is try to make it sound a little more _romantic_ , Lean.”

Oh.

Had his name always sounded like that...?

He was sure that he must've heard Jack say his name before, but the sound was so distant in his memory, he couldn't call it to mind. It really caught him off guard. He was sure that Jack was still speaking, but his ears were still hanging onto the sound of his name on Jack's tongue. He had a voice like wind chimes; delicate and playful. When Jack said it, it sounded so natural, like he was used to saying it all the time – like they were friends.

Yeah... That was just one of the things that made Jack special. For bad or for good, Jack knew how to get under people's skin. His gentle voice could paralyze an enemy with the fear of certain death or tenderly ease someone into the dreamiest sense of security.

A devil and an angel in one.

“R-right. Well.” Awkwardly, Lean slipped his hand away from Jack's and looked away. “I guess I'm not much of the romantic type.”

Not one to be easily discouraged, Jack grinned with narrowing eyes. “Aw, that's not true~ You seem a little shy to me, that's all. Whether you realize it or not, I think that means that you know what you want in your heart. You're just afraid to say it.”

He was dangerously good at reading people. That type of skill probably came with the territory. Being good at hiding his own feelings made it easier for him to spy the feelings of others. It made Lean feel a little self-conscious, knowing that his heart must have been like an open book for Jack to read.

It would have been a lot easier if he didn't try to pry like that. Why couldn't they have a night of dispassionate sex? Physical contact was all he could ask for. Anything more was...

Jack moved closer, bringing a hand up to lightly hold Lean's chin.

He gave him a moment – ample time to think about whether he wanted him to come any closer.

Lean didn't move.

He let Jack come closer until their lips touched. When they did, he swallowed and closed his eyes, experiencing a spontaneous explosion of emotion in his chest.

It wasn't much of a kiss – more like just a press of lips that ended in seconds – but it left Lean unable to breathe.

“Hey. Was that okay?” Jack asked, gently caressing Lean's cheek with his thumb.

Lean tried to take a breath without shaking. He nodded to cover it up.

“Yeah. I'm good. That was... That was good. It was fine.”

With a soft, pleased smile, Jack leaned in again, slipping his hand around to hold the back of Lean's neck as he pressed their lips together a little more firmly. He tilted his head and Lean found himself opening his mouth automatically, anticipating what Jack wanted. He knew what Jack wanted, yeah, but when he actually felt his tongue touching his own, he nearly blacked out. It wasn't the first time he'd made out with anyone before, but... It had certainly been a while. He must have forgotten what it felt like, he rationalized, unable to accept the fact that it just felt that different because it was _Jack._

The fingers at the back of his head gently massaged his neck, easing away his tension no matter how hard Lean tried to stay on guard. A part of him was ready to give up and accept whatever would happen while another part of him was still desperately trying to stop him from letting go. He was afraid of what would happen if he succumbed to his desire for closeness and affection, but he also knew that if he didn't take his chance then, the chance might never come again. He didn't know what was worse.

It wasn't like he could stop, though. He already had one foot in the water, so he figured he might as well dive in.

Instead of sitting there like a dead fish, he finally leaned into it and wrapped his arms around Jack's waist. When he did, he felt Jack smirk against his lips and felt a soft chuckle on his tongue. A moan involuntarily slipped past Lean's lips as that chuckle went straight to his cock. He shifted his legs, starting to get a little hard.

Jack moved his other hand to Lean's thigh. He stroked up his leg to his hip and back down again, his fingers groping toward his inner thigh, coming close to his crotch.

Lean pulled away slightly, just enough so he could mix things up. He kissed Jack on the lips, the corner of his mouth, his jaw, still tasting him on his tongue. It just felt good to kiss someone, but especially him. Jack was so warm and accommodating and receptive. He wanted Jack to feel good because he could tell how genuinely Jack wanted him to feel good, too.

“Lean...”

Ugh. He wanted to hear him say his name more.

“Can I take off your mask?”

Lean stopped, frozen by his question. If they were actually going to have sex, then he should've known that he was going to have to take off his clothes eventually, and that included the mask.

It wasn't like it mattered...

They never met before, right? His face wasn't one that Jack should recognize. He didn't need to keep hiding like that all the time. It wasn't necessary. Probably...

But probably not.

He couldn't say no, though. He wanted to know what Jack would see.

“Go on.”

With his permission, Jack gently pushed back his hood and then lifted the mask from his face. When he saw Jack staring at him, Lean felt his face immediately heat up. He looked away and hastily tried to comb his fingers through his hair to fix it.

“I-I can't see very well. Just so you know. I have my glasses in my pocket.”

“Oh.”

Jack was still staring at him.

Then he reached out, cupping Lean's face in his hands. He turned Lean's head toward him so he couldn't look away.

Lean inhaled sharply. “Y-yeah?”

Despite his fear, there was a soft look on Jack's face. “You know... You're even cuter than I thought. Like, you're actually kinda hot? But in a cute way. It's a shame you gotta wear a mask. I bet you're even cuter with your glasses on.”

Forgetting his fear, Lean clumsily grabbed his glasses from his pocket and shoved them onto his face just to let Jack see how he looked with them on.

“Whoa, I was right!!” he exclaimed excitedly. “You seriously just got even cuter!! What the hell!! How is that possible??”

Cute?

Feeling flustered, Lean gave a nervous laugh and played with the mask in his hands. It made him feel a little embarrassed when Jack called him cute before, but it hit him differently after letting Jack see his face. It felt like Jack was really looking at him, and Lean was happy that he seemed to be so attracted to what he saw.

He wished that he could show him more... The things underneath the other mask he was still wearing...

“Appreciate it while you can,” Lean said. “I'm gonna take my glasses back off. If we're gonna do the rough 'n' tumble, I don't want them getting bent.”

“Aww~ Okay...,” Jack said, pouting.

Seeing how disappointed he looked almost made Lean keep them on... But his glasses were very important, so he took them off and placed them on the bedside table where they would be safe. From there, he didn't even bother asking – he took the initiative and started removing the most difficult parts of his uniform; first his shoes, then the thick belt around his waist, then each of the small belts on the front of his jacket. Jack followed suit, taking care of all of his own frustrating belts and clasps.

Lean stopped him before he could take off his cape. He touched the soft material between his fingers and smiled to himself.

“Hey, Lean, you know...,” Jack started, looking up at him with a slightly hesitant glance. “Members of Class Zero can invite anyone we deem qualified to join Class Zero...”

Lean laughed. “Are you trying to recruit me? I thought you were trying to fuck me.”

“Both,” Jack said.

“Wait...” Lean faltered, his hand slipping away from the ends of Jack's cape. “Seriously?”

His eyes were serious.

A member of Class Zero...?

Officially...?

Lean felt something, but he wasn't sure what type of emotion it was.

It may have been happiness – so overwhelming that it nearly made him want to cry.

“I feel like... it would only be polite to accept such a generous offer. It's an honor, really. But...” He lowered his gaze and his eyes fell upon the mask in his lap. As he held it and looked at it, he felt his heart sinking, weighed down by the unbearable weight of his own happiness. He knew that it wasn't his place. Mother had cast him out for a reason.

So, why...?

In his usual way, Jack laughed it off with a shrug. “Sorry. I know it's sudden. It's a big deal, so... You should think about it. I don't want you to accept the invitation just because you feel like you have to.”

He acted like it was nothing, but it wasn't nothing.

It wasn't like that. Lean didn't have any misgivings. He wanted to accept Jack's invitation with all his heart. But he knew that Mother had plans for them, and it wasn't his place to go inserting himself into the middle of things, not knowing how it might affect the outcome of the experiment. Time meant nothing to her, but each second was an agonizing eternity to him. If he made an irresponsible, selfish misstep, he ran the risk of prolonging his own pain as well as theirs.

“I'll think about it,” he said.

He was sure that he would. For all eternity, probably.

Jack's arms were around him then, pulling him close. Lean rested his head against his shoulder and breathed out a sigh that betrayed how exhausted he really was.

It felt good just to be held, but it was painful at the same time. Time had ceased to move for him, and he wanted that moment to stop with him. Time wouldn't work that way, though. He knew that he just had to make the most of the moment while it was there with him.

“Jack...”

Leaning his weight against him, Jack pushed him down onto the bed. Lean's head softly hit the pillow and he looked up at Jack's face. His eyes had changed again. It was like they were searching for the truth. Lean realized that Jack must have known that he was hiding something from him, and he must've also known that he wasn't going to tell him what it was, even if he asked, so he was looking instead, trying to find any little hint. He wouldn't find it, but the intensity of his gaze still made Lean feel as though he could somehow.

Dipping his head down, Jack brushed his lips softly against the shell of his ear and whispered, “I'm going to do my best to convince you.”

And then his hands were pushing the front of Lean's coat open, shoving the heavy pauldrons of the legionary uniform from his shoulders. Lean opened his mouth to protest – he was more than capable of undressing himself – but Jack looked like a man on a mission. There was no stopping him. And, really, Lean... kind of didn't mind, actually. His heart was pounding nervously, but it was the first time anyone had ever undressed him before. It felt so personal and intimate. It gave him a complicated feeling, like he wanted to hide his face under a pillow and thank him at the same time.

When Jack reached his shirt, Lean raised his arms and helped him lift it over his head. Looking down at his bare upper body, he groaned inwardly, feeling shy about his lack of muscle. He was a scientist, not a soldier – even if he frequently played the part.

“Wow,” Jack breathed, as though he was impressed by what he saw.

Lean was glad, but he thought that Jack must've had bad taste if he found his skinny frame worthy of such a reaction.

“Nothing to see here,” Lean muttered. “Move along.”

“Aw, come on~ I deserve to take in the sights, don't I?”

“What exactly is your type?” Lean asked, trying not to sound annoyed. He thought that Jack was into petite girls, but he'd also seen him flirt with guys. It was hard to figure out what type of features he was looking for.

Jack smiled and tapped a finger ponderously against his lower lip. “Hmm, I dunno~ I guess I just like people – all kinds of people, but especially people who have interesting personalities. I think I could probably see the appeal in anyone and anything, given the chance.”

Lean sniffed, amused. “That just makes it sound like you aren't very discerning.”

“No, no, it's not like that at all~” Jack assured, sitting up on his knees with a big grin. “I'm _extremely_ discerning. You think I'd take an interest in just anyone? No way! There has to be something special. If somebody's got the right stuff, that one little special something can make everything about a person seem interesting.” He leaned back down and placed the smallest of kisses against Lean's nose. “And you... Are very interesting to me~”

Lean grabbed him by the end of his cape and pulled him down, making their mouths collide in a forceful kiss. He grasped the gold holder that kept his cape together and slipped it off, letting the red cloth flutter to the sheets beside them. With Jack's uniform jacket already open, Lean easily slid his hands inside and pushed it over his shoulders. Jack helped him with the arms, tugging it off clumsily as he tried to keep from breaking their kiss. Sadly, he had no choice but to part from him when Lean's hands reached the shirt underneath his jacket.

As Jack sat up and lifted it over his head, Lean greedily stared at the skin that was revealed. Just like he thought, even though Jack was typically the laziest of Class Zero, he still had a nice build. All of his time in the field showed in the lightly toned muscles of his upper body. Letting himself indulge in the opportunity, Lean sat up and reached out to touch him with both hands, from his chest to his stomach to the waist of his pants.

Jack had been managing to play it cool, but there was no hiding how excited he actually was. Not that Lean could blame him. He was hard, too. Just thinking about being touched made his heart beat double its pace.

He let himself fall back down into the comfortable sheets and moved his hands to his own waist. “Here,” he said as he started unfastening his pants. “I'll take care of the hard part.”

“That's the hard part?”

“It's hard to have sex if my pants are still on, right?” Swallowing his annoying sense of self-consciousness, he pushed them down all at once with his underwear and tossed them off the bed.

Jack's face was looking a bit red. “Right, but... Yeah, well... What I mean is... Are you gonna be okay...? Is this your... first time...? Do you need me to do anything to, uh...?”

Oh... He was very cute when he was nervous.

Lean wasn't sure he'd ever seen him like that before. The flustered look on his face was very honest.

“Why, does it seem like my first time?” Lean asked with a chuckle. Feeling a bit more confident because of Jack's sudden nervousness, he leaned over to the bedside and took the lube from the table. “Just use some of this and I'll be fine. I can prepare myself a bit first if you're that worried about hurting me.”

Jack's eyes were glued to his naked body. “Oh. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be cool...”

What a perv. He just wanted to watch, didn't he?

“Fine. Take off your pants, then. This'll only take a second.”

In his hurry to remove his pants, Jack nearly fell off the bed. Lean just laughed under his breath as he uncapped the lube and squeezed some over his fingers. He was glad that things weren't as awkward as he thought they'd be. It was hard for any situation to stay too awkward or serious when Jack was involved, it seemed.

With just a sigh, his body was already relaxed enough for him to press one of his slick fingers inside. He was used to fingering himself; most of the action he engaged in was with his own hand. With the role he played, it was hard to form any type of relationship with anyone, so if he had sex at all, it had to be of the sort with no expectations of commitment. It was just easier to go it alone. In his fantasies, he could have whatever he wanted... So at one point or another, he was sure he'd imagined what it would be like to be with every member of Class Zero. He even imagined what it would've been like to be loved by all of them. It sounded like such a dream. He wondered if a future like that was possible...

“Hey, save some for me. It looks like you're enjoying yourself a little too much there.”

Lean opened his eyes. He hadn't even realized that he'd closed them.

He had two fingers buried deep in himself and he was breathing heavily.

“Guess I got carried away,” he mumbled, slipping his fingers out.

Spreading his feet apart, he let Jack situate himself between his knees. He didn't know if he was going to be able to handle doing it in that position where he had to look at Jack's face. He thought he'd die of embarrassment, but he also wouldn't have wanted it any other way. More than anything, he just wanted to kiss him again and wrap his arms around his shoulders and hold him with their bare skin touching. It sounded like a bunch of sentimental crap, but... That was what he wanted.

Seeming slightly hesitant at first, Jack wrapped a hand around his cock and stroked him loosely. “What were you thinking about when you were touching yourself? It was like you were in your own world for a minute there.”

“I was thinking about... You.”

Jack's hand suddenly stopped, his eyes widening in surprise. “Really? Wow... Well, I'm right here, so you don't have to use your imagination.”

At those words, reality finally started to really sink in.

The object of his fantasies was right there, touching him for real. One of the things he thought was impossible...

“J-Jack...”

He smirked. “Don't worry, Lean. I won't keep you waiting.”

Moving his hand under one of Lean's knees, he lifted it back to give himself more space and used his other hand to position the head of his cock against his slick entrance. Even though he prepared himself, the sensation of being penetrated made Lean's head spin. Jack must have used some of the lube on himself as well while he wasn't paying attention; there was hardly any resistance as he pushed inside. It seemed like he knew what he was doing. With small, undulating rolls of his hips, it didn't take long until the whole length of his cock was inside.

It really must have been a while...

Lean was already sweating. He lowered his head to the pillow, but he cast his gaze downward to see what it looked like when they were joined together. He wanted to commit that image to memory. Jack was usually such a dork, but just like how he seemed to attain a different persona in battle, he seemed equally different in bed. His eyes were half-lidded, his lips slightly parted... The intense heat of his gaze made Lean feel like prey about to be devoured.

He didn't mind feeling vulnerable for a change.

“W-wow...,” Lean stuttered breathlessly.

“You like it already? I haven't even gotten started~” Jack teasingly gave him a couple shallow thrusts. “I liked watching you touch yourself... You looked really hot like that. You should touch yourself some more. Show me what you like.”

What was going on...?

Lean looked at himself and wondered if he gave off the impression of a guy who liked to be told what to do.

Well... He _was_ good at following orders, that was true...

But Mother's orders were painful. Sometimes, he wondered whether she even realized.

Jack, though... As long as someone wasn't trying to make him their enemy, he was an extremely empathetic and compassionate person who just wanted to make other people happy. So when Jack told him what to do, Lean really didn't feel like he was being bossed around. He didn't feel the same annoyance he would've felt if it had been anyone else.

His hands moved automatically, finding the places where he liked to be touched. He kept his eyes on Jack's as he touched himself, moving his hand across his body. In truth, just about every spot was a good spot if he was already in the mood. His skin felt hot and sensitive, hyper-aware of every sensation. His breath hitched and his legs trembled as he groped his own chest and circled his thumbs around his nipples.

And Jack was watching everything, calmly maintaining his composure as his eyes followed each movement of his hands.

Lean wanted him to move...

He felt good, but it wasn't enough. And he was afraid that if he touched his cock, he was going to end up embarrassing himself.

He was experienced, dammit. He was the one with the continuous memory. He retained everything!

And yet...

When those eyes were on him, he felt like a pathetic virgin who would come at the slightest touch.

Unable to take it any longer, he grabbed Jack's hands and put them on his waist.

“Just fuck me, okay?!” He didn't mean to shout. It felt like his voice jumped out on its own, coming from somewhere deep down. “I don't care what you do! I just want you to touch me!”

Jack didn't look surprised, though.

In a way, he almost looked sad.

It wasn't a look of pity. Lean would've been mad if it had been.

For a second, Jack opened his mouth, but he closed it quickly and didn't say anything. Then, he just smiled.

He got into a more comfortable position, sliding Lean's legs over his hips, leaning forward to wrap his arms around his waist. It brought them even closer together and made it so that they came face to face. There was no way for Lean to hide the desperation that was surely still visible on his face when they were that close, so he decided to own it.

“Don't make me beg...”

Jack kissed him. “I won't.”

Somehow, he'd forgotten. While observing Jack, he'd found out that he had an unusual talent. Some appreciated his strange ability while others found it rude, gross, and insulting. Yeah, it was quite a talent... At a glance, Jack was able to predict what other people were into. It made him a valuable resource for fellow students who were interested in the recommendations of a connoisseur, but if he gave his recommendations without solicitation, it usually resulted in disaster and humiliation for everyone.

Lean realized that he was still foolishly underestimating him.

Jack had seen that he had his guard up, and he broke it down on purpose. If he hadn't...

Lean knew that he would've probably kept all of his thoughts inside. He wouldn't have been able to enjoy himself to his fullest, and he would have walked away from their encounter with regrets.

He didn't want to regret anything.

“M-...”

Jack pulled back a little when he heard him trying to speak. He looked at his face and waited without moving. “Yeah?”

“M-...”

Agh, he couldn't say it... He was going to sound like such an idiot.

Jack removed one of his arms from around him and raised his hand to gently brush the hair away from Lean's face. “Are you gonna say it or do you want me to say it for you?”

Confused, Lean blinked and stared at him. He didn't know how Jack could know what he was going to say, so he was actually kind of curious to find out what he thought. “Y... Yeah. I mean- Go ahead. If you think you know what I'm gonna say, then... Say it. It's too embarrassing.”

Lean groaned inwardly when he saw the smug, confident look on his face, like he was absolutely sure that he was right.

“You want me to 'make love' to you, right?” He tucked Lean's hair behind his ear and kissed his forehead. “There's nothing embarrassing about that, if you ask me. I know we talked about 'hooking up', but this already feels like a lot more than that. It's like, no matter what our intentions were, it was destined to turn into something more meaningful.” He paused with a distant look in his eyes. Then he laughed at himself. “Sorry if that makes me sound like some kind of stalker weirdo. I'm not gonna suddenly ask you to marry me or anything crazy like that.”

Honestly?

If he asked him to marry him out of nowhere, Lean felt like he was in the kind of mood where he would've been just crazy enough to say yes.

Lean smiled.

Little by little, the shield around his heart was falling away, and he was finding it harder to be as worried about it as he probably should've been. He couldn't help it. There was just something about Jack... He gave him hope.

He stroked one hand up Jack's back and placed the other on the back of his neck as he looked into his eyes.

“I trust you, Jack.”

Their bodies moved together beautifully. Finally on the same page with each other, it was like their thoughts had become connected. He must have shown Jack enough for him to know exactly what he wanted and how he wanted it. It wasn't how he touched himself, but the things he revealed from the inside. It made all the difference.

Physical contact wasn't enough, and it never would've been enough. Jack saw that and he understood without asking him to reveal more than he was comfortable with.

All of his secrets were still within him, but his feelings had become plainly visible.

He wanted more of that feeling.

He wanted to reveal more of himself – to let him see everything, even if it were to end up costing him everything.

“ _Jack..._ ”

His voice sounded so desperate...

He was.

With his eyes squeezed shut and his jaw clenched, Lean moved against him like he couldn't get enough. Jack held him tightly and moved his hips with sure and steady thrusts, breathing roughly into the side of Lean's neck. His breath felt so hot. The room felt like it was on fire. There was nothing but pure white inside of Lean's head, painting out any chance of coherent thought. As if he were observing his own body from outside of himself, he distantly heard the sound of his own helpless, wanton moaning.

For the first time in his entire existence, Jack was showing him something he'd never felt before.

Affection.

Intimacy in every form.

Lean clung to him, arching his back and pushing their hips together, rutting his leaking cock against Jack's stomach. Jack moved with him, making his thrusts even deeper so he could rub himself against his cock. One of his hands traveled down Lean's body and squeezed his ass, pulling him up to meet him.

“Th-that-...” Lean swallowed and tried again, surprised by how shaky his voice was. “That feels so good...”

He liked how his hands felt. Those strong hands which were used to firmly grasping a weapon were holding him just as confidently.

Lean could already feel himself tightening up inside, nearing his climax. He didn't want it to be over so soon, but... He knew that it wasn't really about the sex. He just didn't want to leave him. When it was over, he'd have to go back to being Lean Joker... Wouldn't he?

“J-Jack, I...”

Softly, Jack pressed their foreheads together. “It's okay,” he said.

He didn't have to say more. He didn't have to explain what that 'it's okay' meant. In that moment, it felt like it meant everything. Every possible thing was okay. He was okay.

Jack held him and ran his hands up and down his back as Lean trembled with his orgasm, helping to push away his uncomfortable thoughts so he could feel nothing but pleasure. As soon as Lean had some semblance of coherency, he told Jack to keep going. He didn't want him to stop on his account. He may have been feeling a little oversensitive after coming, but it still felt good.

In the post-orgasm haze, Lean let himself lay there, enjoying the feeling of Jack's cock driving into him as he got close.

His face was so cute...

He acted so confident, but... He was actually a virgin, wasn't he? It was thoughtful of him to try to hide it so that he wouldn't be uncomfortable, but there was no hiding it forever. When Jack wasn't focusing on him instead, the cracks in his act started to show. His hands were grabbier, his expression needier, his thrusts all too fast and sloppy. It was the appearance of a boy who was finally getting a taste of the real deal.

That must have been why he'd been so concerned about making sure that he was prepared before they got started. He hadn't known what to do.

With a pleased smile, Lean stretched out underneath him and let Jack stare as much as he wanted at the body he found so attractive.

Well, that didn't take long.

Whimpering helplessly, Jack's hips came to a sudden stop. His hands tightened around Lean's waist and he came while his cock was still buried deep inside of him. Lean placed a hand over his stomach and his cock twitched a little in curious excitement at the feeling of Jack's hot cum filling him up inside. Jack stayed like that for a minute to catch his breath, looking totally zoned out.

Once he came to his senses, he quickly pulled out. He came inside so deep, barely a drop escaped.

“AhhhhH... I'm so sorry... I didn't think about it. I just-...”

Lean waved a hand to dismiss his concern. “It's fine,” he said, already leaning over to grab a tissue from the bedside. He used it to clean himself up and passed one to Jack, too. “It felt good, so I didn't mind.”

It was dark outside...

He sat up and put his feet over the side of the bed.

Where was he going to go?

He looked back over his shoulder and saw Jack looking at him with pitiful eyes. He really wasn't the 'hooking up' kind of guy at heart. His need to please others was just as much of a need to please himself. Lean knew how hollow he was on the inside. By himself, he wasn't complete. Those sad eyes surely meant that he was afraid of being left alone to become empty again.

Lean didn't know what he was doing.

For some reason, despite knowing what a bad choice it was, he was laying back down.

The immediate difference in Jack's expression made Lean's heart ache. He looked so happy, seeing that he wasn't leaving. Jack hastily moved to turn back the sheets. Despite himself, Lean sat up and helped him. At the point that he was laying under the covers, he knew there was no escape. His stupid decision had been made.

Jack immediately attached himself to his side.

Lean sighed.

He rolled over to face him and wrapped his arms around him.

“Fine,” he said.

“Hmm~?”

“Your invitation.”

“Oh~?”

“I'll accept it.”

Jack looked happy, but he was still being cautious. “Are you sure? I told you that you could take your time.”

“I had enough time,” Lean said. A decision didn't require time to be made. True decisions were made with the heart, and despite whatever his rational mind was telling him, his heart knew what his real answer was. It was a decision he was making for himself. He was willing to take destiny into his own hands for the chance to finally experience the world the way he wanted it to be – by Class Zero's side.

“I'm glad,” Jack said. His voice sounded quieter, like he was already close to falling asleep. He rested his forehead against Lean's shoulder and let out a contented sigh. “Hey, Lean... Did we do it last time?”

Lean could've laughed. He didn't have it in him to be surprised.

He just didn't know how to answer. He figured he must've already been breaking the rules. If he pulled back the curtains a little to let Jack have a peek at what was behind it all, he wondered how harshly Mother would reprimand him.

Perhaps she wouldn't even be mad.

Maybe she'd been waiting for him to crack and do something out of character.

“You know what I mean,” Jack said, lifting his head to look at him. “I'm not crazy, am I?”

“You sound a little crazy,” Lean said. Anyone would've thought he was insane for saying something that strange. But, as it turned out, the world was just that crazy. “We didn't do it. This was the first time.”

The look on Jack's face was incredible. Lean vicariously felt his relief.

Releasing all of the tension he'd been hiding in one long, exhausted breath, Jack laid his whole weight on top of him. “This must be what it's like to have a soulmate~,” he sighed, wiggling his feet happily under the covers.

“You're telling me I'm destined to be with a guy like you?”

“Are you mad~?”

Lean clicked his tongue and smirked. “As if.”


End file.
